The Resolutionary

Happy New Year!

Those of you who know me well, know that I am Type A personality with hyper-ambitions. It would then come as no surprise that I am extremely focused when it comes to New Year’s Resolutions. If you followed other blogs of mine you would remember reading about the approach I’ve taken and the advice I gave on how to make effective resolutions that truly stick.

Often times, I begin to set my resolutions before the year has even expired, so that I may get a jump start on their implementation and hit the ground running. This gives me a solid head start while taking off some of that New Year’s Day pressure to which many people succumb. A perfect example is a resolution around diet. Those of you who try to begin eating right on New Year’s Day know that is a futile exercise as all you want to do after a night of partying is to eat crappy food - all day long.  

Along the same concept, of not adding pressure to what is already going to be a challenging task, I also don’t always start all my resolutions on January 1st.  Instead, I may decide that I will achieve the goal during some point in the year. I did this when I was quitting smoking and waited until February when all the holidays were behind me and I was free from distraction and temptation. It then took several months to implement my quitting strategy, but by Lent, I was done with cigarettes. That was 16 years ago.

Each of my resolutions are comprehensive and touch upon almost every category of life. I have notebooks and spreadsheets and Gantt charts that track progress. No task is officially completed unless the box is checked, a process that I find to be gratifying as it allows me to celebrate victory. All of this information is kept in one note book which I’ve had for several decades and frequently read to draw inspiration. Just last week I read my resolution from 2013 which was to write a book and become a published author. “Well done, me!” I thought to myself with a feeling pride and accomplishment.

This year, has been no different in terms of my resolution-setting process which began in December. However, instead of a free-flow of resolution ideas, I haven’t been able to come up with any - not a one.  I continued to think about it through the holidays, but I have drawn a blank. On New Year’s Day, I still had nothing. Not one resolution to show for myself. It was rather strange. So, I decided to have a New Year’s Resolution get together and on Friday night I invited a handful of my highly motivated friends to gather together. We had a blast, drinking champagne well into the night. But by the next morning, the 2019 page in my notebook was still blank.  

Today, I lay in bed for a few extra minutes and just quietly pondered my life. I wondered about the direction in which I should go and what should I do next. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind and began to meditate. I realized that I haven’t fully defined my life’s purpose. Clarity on issues such as this help set the course for our lives. My inability to answer these questions with any degree of certainly made me realize that there may be more that I need to discover about myself.

I seem to have come to a crossroad and instead of decisively moving forward down a path that lay before me, I have stopped. For the first time in my life, I begin a new year unsure of my direction. Instead, I am gazing the landscape and soaking it all in all while I am taking a breadth. One thing that I do know for certain is that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, at this very moment in time…And so are you.