YOU'RE FIRED

There is much more to losing a job than just a change in employment status.

When we leave a job for whatever reason, there is a loss of identity as well as a series of emotions that require reconciliation and healing. This is true even if you were the one who made the decision to sever ties.

Career PTSD is real, but it’s seldom acknowledged and discussed. However, the trauma that we endure requires healing just like any other emotional wound.

Whether you saw it coming or not, termination is preceded by a series of events that led up to departure. It may feel sudden, and you may have felt blindsided, but that may be because you chose to ignore the signs.

Termination for cause. Companies generally don’t suddenly fire employees for cause unless the event is so egregious that termination is the best course of action.

Most of the time, you will have received feedback about poor performance. In large companies, there are policies that prohibit drastic, unilateral decisions around termination. Employees are usually given a warning with an opportunity to turn their performance around.

Regardless, working day to day in this type of scenario creates a level of stress that manifests in your body and your mind. That in itself creates trauma.

Termination from Reduction in Force (RIF): This too doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Poor company performance seeps into the culture through management messaging warning of impending job cuts. This creates an environment of fear, panic, anxiety, pressure and stress, all of which add to career trauma.

Quitting: When you leave on your own accord it’s likely because of a series of unsatisfactory events. Living under the conditions that brought you to the brink has a negative impact on your psyche, morale, and your confidence. These are wounds that require healing and those take time.

So, whatever the cause for severing ties with your company, know that it takes its toll. It’s important to reflect on the situation and allow yourself to feel those emotions.

Un-dealt with trauma isn’t healthy. It manifests in our bodies and impacts both our physical and mental states. Left unhealed, we carry trauma with us everywhere we go. That includes your next interview and your next job. You want to clear the slate so you can embark on your next role with a fresh start.

Here are some tips on how you can get past what you’ve just been through.

1. Don’t Blame Yourself. It doesn’t matter why or why you? Trying to figure it out isn’t going to give you an answer. What it will do is give you a story. It’s human nature to create a story and fill in the gaps of what is unknown. It makes us feel better about ourselves and our role in an undesired outcome. That said, don’t beat yourself up either. Learn from what happened and forgive yourself if you feel the need to.

Keep in mind that companies make decisions based on a variety of reasons. In the case of a RIF, it can be as simple as a numbers game. Try not to take it personally. 

2. Time to Grieve. Much of our professional identity is tied up in our job and when we lose that job, we feel lost. Losing a job is a loss no matter what and requires adequate time to grieve. Don’t let anyone invalidate what you feel and don’t let others rush you.Take the necessary time to heal.

3. Speak to a Professional. Talking is cathartic, but who you choose to speak to is equally important. You want to share with someone who isn’t emotionally vested in you and your outcome. Objective advice is crucial.

It’s human nature to want to talk about what happened, particularly with the colleagues you left behind. They’ll likely validate your emotions and will join in on the anger and frustration. You’ll feel vindicated and better in the moment, but, it isn’t necessarily good for you nor is it good for them. Remember they still have to work there.

Also, how you exit will be remembered. Most industries tend to be incestuous and if you want to remain there you don’t want to burn bridges.  

Talking to friends and family isn’t the best idea either, because everyone will have their opinions on your situation. They will also have advice on what you should do next. Few are qualified to give that advice.

Hiring a coach like me is probably your best bet.

And finally,

Seize the Opportunity. When one door closes, another one opens and job loss is just that. Termination is the manifestation of a mismatch of alignment. Use this time to find something else that is more congruent with who you are and what you want to do.

You can look at your termination as a tragic event or you can look at it as a blessing and the greatest gift that you never intended. The choice is yours.